After a night of drinking with their cover band in a Long Island rehearsal studio, Queens couple and bandmates Andrew, 40, and Francine, 29, found themselves alone and getting frisky on a drum set stool.
But they never thought their tryst would end with a trip to the hospital — with Andrew on a gurney at 3 a.m. wearing Francine’s skirt.
Their sexual adventure-turned-medical mishap is just one of many featured in the TLC series “Sex Sent Me to the ER,” which returns for its second season Saturday at 10 p.m. with plenty of salacious tales and racy re-enactments — from a couple who falls into a grave while copulating in a cemetery to a duo that gets bitten by a giant centipede during the deed.
“We figured behind the drums would be the easiest place to hide [in case anyone walked in],” Francine tells The Post about the incident, which is retold in an episode that airs Nov. 15. (Only first names are used so as not to violate health privacy laws.)
After their vigorous lovemaking session was over, the couple passed out on a nearby sofa, and only awoke when Andrew rolled off — splitting his chin open on a coffee table.
But as soon as the still pants-less Andrew stood up, Francine knew that a bleeding chin wasn’t his only problem.
“Oh s - - t,” she exclaimed. Part of Andrew’s privates had swollen to the size of an orange.
No longer able to squeeze back into his skinny jeans, Andrew put on Francine’s floral skirt and she drove him to the ER. Facing his first-ever hospital visit, Andrew’s mind quickly turned to the worst as he feared the swelling was the result of a tumor.
“The pain was so great there that it started to feel numb, like pins and needles,” he says.
After a three-hour wait at the hospital, his chin was patched up with seven stitches, but it took several tests and a full questioning by his doctor to determine that his was a sexually sustained injury — orchitis, an inflammation that causes intense pain.
“It could have been the angle at which we were having sex that caused it,” Francine says. “I was sitting on top of him. The doctor said it could have happened to anybody in the same position. The [stool] we were sitting on wasn’t cushioned, so that didn’t help.”
Andrew was relieved to find out he didn’t have cancer — but was still embarrassed.
“I had told a couple people I was [in the hospital]. I thought, ‘I’m gonna have to explain now why I’m here and what actually happened.’ ”
Although he was initially vague on the details of his injuries, both have since told their parents the whole story.
“They laughed,” Francine says. “My parents have such a funny sense of humor. There’s no ill will.”
Despite taking a week’s course of antibiotics for the swelling to go down — and Andrew having to play a gig that night with an ice pack down his pants — the happy couple says the incident hasn’t slowed down their sex life.
“We should be [more careful] because God forbid it happens again, but no,” Francine says.
Still, they haven’t fooled around on a drum set since.
As an ER physician, Dr. Bob Slay has seen his share of sexually inflicted injuries, but even he had to exclaim “Wow!” when he encountered a cheating lawyer with a private part the size of a softball.
“I kept asking if he wanted pain medicine and he kept saying, ‘No,’ ” recalls Slay. “He enjoyed the pain.”
The lawyer refused to say what happened. But when his mistress ran into the ER, the whole kinky tale came out.
His wife had stopped by his office for a lunch date and had caught the pair engaged in S&M. She then gave her cheating spouse a swift kick to the groin that landed him in the ER.
While in the waiting room, both wife and mistress — who hadn’t known her sex partner was married — bonded over their anger at his two-timing ways.
The patient’s manhood was saved by surgery, but his marriage wasn’t so lucky — his wife announced in the ER she would be seeking a divorce, with his mistress, who also happened to be an attorney, representing her.
“Karma did come full circle on this particular gentleman that day,” Slay says.