Shoplifter Poos In Her Hand, Rubs It In SECURITY Guard’s Face To Escape

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A woman tried to steal from a Macy’s store in Florida and used her own sh*t as a way to escape guards. Yep, you read that correctly my friend. her poo. His face. They connected.

Marisol Toribio went into a branch of Macy’s in Coral Springs, Fort Lauderdale, Florida and tried to make a dirty get away with stolen goods.

Then she allegedly put her hand inside her knickers, wielded some turd then smeared it on the face of a chasing SECURITY guard.

But her plan didn’t work (as if it would) and the 32-year-old woman was arrested right there in the shop and charged with theft and tampering with or fabricating physical evidence.

I hope to god her record has ‘sh*t smearer’ on it for the rest of her life.